For the last few months, I have been suffering from a series of illnesses. It all started with a migraine. A migraine that saw me throwing up into a bin on the side of Santa Monica Boulevard in front of a very concerned valet man. All I could think at the time was, “Oh no! I’ve done it in the recycling!” But I suppose technically… I was recycling?
The pain was so intense that I spent three days fantasizing about stabbing my left eye out. But, in a move many of my friends would call “Classic Malone,” I managed to pull myself together to moderate a Q&A for the film ‘Lady Bird’. I did not want to cancel last minute. Not on one of my favorite films of the year. Not on Variety. And especially not on my (pretend) best friend Greta Gerwig. Somehow, I pulled it off. I don’t think the audience could even tell I was feeling sick, or that I was praying that I wouldn't throw up on Greta during it. That would be one “viral” interview I hope I never have.
After the migraine, I got back to work. Rushing here, running there, pushing through the tiredness. So of course, more illnesses came. Each one knocked me flat on my back. My body was quite literally sick of me. In the past, my therapist has explained that being busy allows me not to feel too much. But as I told her, I don’t have time for that right now. Hi, I’m Alicia, and I’m a workaholic. It’s extra hard when you love what you do and genuinely want to do all of the things. I’ve vowed many times that I will slow down, but this time, I want to stick to it. And as strange as it may sound, that’s where this new blog will help.
By my third bout of bed-ridden sickness I was feeling very ‘Rear Window’. But with no apartment blocks to spy on, or murder to solve, my mind kept returning to one persistent thought. “Do less, but better.” With multiple jobs, social media, and making YouTube videos, I’m constantly putting out content. As hard as I try, with a limited amount of time in the day (and not being a robot,) it’s not always as polished as it could be. The honest truth is, if I had a Jimmy Stewart in my life, I’m not sure I’d be proud to show him the work I do from home.
So with my new mantra, I’m going to do less content, but make it better. Spend time crafting stories for this blog whenever I feel the inspiration. Take longer to make videos that are well researched. Maybe not stay up till 3am at festivals editing vlogs that feel too rushed. Bring back my Malone Mail newsletter. And overall, cut down on the amount of jobs I take on, so I can give my all to the ones I have.
This blog, which I’m titling ‘Technicolor Dreams’, will likely evolve as I go. My intention is to write about the movies I love and the crazy things I do for my love of film. Expect to see musings about classic films, arthouse movies, conversations about women in Hollywood and stories about my life as a film geek. Hopefully, with much less vomiting. Here’s to 2018!